In 1995, I joined Troop 90, BSA, out of Woodcrest, CA. The most common skit at that place and time (and, for the most part, still) was a "run on" based around this principle:
[Bob and Tom walk on stage from different directions]
Bob: Hey, penny for your thoughts.
Tom: Ok, but pay up.
[Bob pays up]
Tom: If nothing sticks to Teflon, how does Teflon stick to the pan?
Bob: Hmmmmmm...
[Bob and Tom walk off stage in different directions]
Genius, huh? And there were many of them--punchlines, that is--but no one could think of a good one when the time came. I decided that I would collect them.:
I did.
I wrote them down as I heard them. I got them in e-mails. I searched the websites for them. I thought it was extravagant when I had 400 of them. If I could have only known...
So anyway, I still collect them because I believe that: a)puns are the best kind of jokes, and b)one-liners are the second-best kind of jokes; this collection gives me both at once.
So I hope you enjoy this as much as I do.
I would also like to use this space to thank some of the people who made it possible for me to collect these:
Ben, Tim, and Diana Lewis
Ben Staats and Julian Stuart
Anh Troung, Bruce Johnson, and Peter Li
Melanie, Bonnie, Brittany, and Stacy
Don Fowler
All you freaks (and I say that ever so nicely) who have e-Mailed me a list of these things.
Anyone who has ever laughed at my jokes.
--[signed] Gregory Lewis
